I am writing this very last minute in the shower the only time I could find which was squeezed in between grading my senior's coursework and picking my kids up from my parents. I grab my iPhone when an idea pops in my mind and just hope I don't ruin the thing in the process!!
I've always been compelled to document my family. I love taking pictures of my kids, writing stuff down, telling our story... I see our life as a journey. I love knowing what I've lived through and how it shapes me. If I keep jotting things down and photographing life as it happens, I see that beautiful progression. It helps me see that good & bad can exist at the same time. That struggles can turn into something beautiful. That I move through things, I'm never stuck. So I thought I'm going to start taking a yearly snapshot (with words right now) of me right now so that my kids can see it and read about in years to come. Or that I can look at it and be excited about how I've grown and change. I want to take note of my life as a mom right now, how I see things. I think I want my family to see how I really feel, not only the good.
To my sweeties,
I've never experienced anything more transformative than being a mom/your mom. Anthony, Lucy, & Kate nothing has made me feel things more deeply, from the depths of post-partum depression to the joy that I get when I really see you. My day includes shuffling my you around, cleaning up messes, feeding, holding, celebrating, & capturing you. I hope that you feel utterly comfortable and proud of who you are. There's so much mundane. Some days I feel like I have 3 unhappy demanding customers. Somedays I cry out in frustration. But all of the good and bad exists with in this beautiful reality that I am your mom and I will happy endure it all to have you.
Nothing about being your mom is perfect. In fact it's delightfully imperfect. It's in your flaws, or really just the ways you're unique that I can see your true beauty. You bring out the very worst & best in me but always push me to grown and change. Having you has made me connect with myself and others in a deeper more meaningful way than I ever have. You've opened a whole new world of beauty and love to me. You've changed my body in
sometimes unwanted but magnificent ways and you've made me love your dad more and more each year.
You've pushed me to figure out who I am as a mom and a person, and I pretty happy and excited about that. My life is incredible because I have you!
Mother's Day 2015
I would love if you would share your experience as a mom in the comments below! Happy Mother's Day!!!