If I don't set goals each month, I wander around aimlessly and get really frustrated because I feel lost and like I'm not moving forward. If I don't take stock of my life before making goals, I make goals that make no sense in my life. Taking stock is something I often forget to do, but I'm going to give it my best this month.
I've been having a very hard time adjusting to the changes that have come with the addition of Leo to our family. This February, every day has felt hard. Like I'm an exhausted version of myself being held hostage by an unhappy, hurt little 2 year old. My days have been struggle centric. If I was asked how I was doing, I'd say "It'd be better if I got more sleep" or "The baby's easy, Kate's the hard one." And why I prefer being honest when I'm asked about my life, I was letting that negativity fill all of the space. I just couldn't see past how hard I felt things were. At 2:30 AM Saturday morning, I was up nursing Leo and I just started feeling hopeless. When is this going to get better??? On Saturday, at a more happy time to be awake, I was sitting in the Starbucks drive thru line and waiting to order my Grande Coffee with extra cream & one equal. It occurred to me that maybe I needed to think about my life right now, aka take stock, before moving into March with the same defeated feelings. So I pulled out my iphone and opened my Evernote app and began writing.
saturday starbucks DRIVE THRU line musings.
"my Goal here is to clear my head... I'm so focused on the walls and the box.. that I've forgotten about the windows & the light. I'm obsessing about my cage and how it holds me in ... instead of how I can make it pretty & meaningful and good. this is us. this is our life right now. all I am i focusing on is why it sucks right now. and not the beauty of it. i'm making myself stuck. i'm pouring the concrete and standing in it. i'm the one who is holding myself back. it's time to notice the windows first. see where they are. use that light and begin seeing beauty again. march is just about here. time to push forward"
From taking that 2 minutes of time to take stock of things, I realized I'm focusing on all of the wrong things, and that's why I feel the way I do. Hence, my March project: "Find the Good". My life right now is so full. Every moment is accounted for. There's plenty of good in my day, but if I'm not intentional about noticing it, it passes me right by. This month is going to be different.
Each day in March I'm committing to writing something down that was really good in my day. It's my intention to also photo this really good thing. However, the words I believe are most important. I am hoping this daily focus on what is truly worthwhile in my life will help me see all that I have to be thankful for. If you're interested in joining me, you can use your March 'Story of Us' Book journal pages, you can use the Evernote app, anything you want, just keep it in 1 place. Write the date down and write your something good next to it. If you use Evernote, you can include a photo too. I'm hoping that this project will turn my perspective around. I'll report back on April 1 and let you know how it went!